crankshaft / Crankshaft + Facebook = Announcing Carbook
Today, after two months of negotiation, we're proud to announce the acquisition of Crankshaft by Facebook. We hope that you're just excited as we are when it comes to the new era of smart cars. Crankshaft's vision is and has always been to connect all the dumb cars in the world, just as Facebook's mission, connect all smart people in the world.
We're very excited to announce a new social network for cars, named Carbook. We're a free social network, and will always be. All cars installed with Crankshaft version 0.2.1 on will be automatically integrated with Carbook for free. In the coming months, we will gradually rename Crankshaft to Carbook. So what can Carbook do for you?
The power of the Social Graph and Machine Learning
The social graph of cars is the heart of the Carbook network. You might have more than once wondered what cars do your neighbors, coworkers, significant others, or long-lost high school friends drive? Wonder no more. We automatically gather the VIN, odometer, license plate, last oil change and manage and share that information automatically for you. You can also optionally import your contact list. When coupled with a free CAN-bus device from us, your car will automatically honk when they see your friend walking on the street or driving in their car. You'll never have to remember their car model or license plate or their physical appearance to honk at your friend anymore. You can also optionally mark any Facebook user as your crush, and if they also do that to you, your cars will flash their high beams when they pass by each other. Note, your privacy is important to us. The sharing of your contact list is an optional and totally an opt-in process. We will have a gentle reminder to opt-in to share the information every day until you agree to.
And before you ask, yes – you can follow other people's cars with Carbook. When the bully that you hated in high school has a car crash or when their car breaks down, we will send a push notification to your Carbook device so you can open a champagne. But what if you are the bully? No, at Carbook we have no place for bullies, if someone thinks that they should cheer when shit happens to you, then you probably should reconsider your choices in life.
That's not all Carbook can offer. By leveraging the sensors in your car, we can closely monitor your car's health and learn about your driving habits to predict the overall health of your beloved car. We also poll data from other cars that have Carbook or Facebook installed to make such predictions. We will give you useful tips and tricks to prolong your car's life. By leveraging similar data of the social car graph combined with the latest Machine Learning algorithms, we have successfully predicted on beta testers with 98%+ accuracy of the week when your car is going to break down. Carbook will have a gentle notification suggesting you sell your car three months before the predicted breakdown point. One month before the breakdown point, if we see you still you driving that sucker, we will list your car on the local Facebook marketplace automatically for you – all with no charges. We offer all of that convenience with the utmost respect for your privacy and safety. We do all the prediction on our servers, and never sends that data to any third-party advertisers.
Carbook knows we all treasure special moments with the cars so we will notify you of your anniversaries with your car, such as the first day driving on the car, first-time traffic ticket, first in-car make out, etc. Moreover, we will take and share pictures on Facebook and Twitter (beta) of special precious occasions with your car, such as when your odometer gets to 99,999 miles (US market) 99,999 km (European market) or 68,888 km (China and other Asian markets), or 33,333 miles/km (Fiat car owners).
Safer on the road with Carbook
Carbook helps you get ahead of the competitions when it comes to your safety on the road. If you apply for a "gig economy" job, we will be able to provide proofs to your ride-hailing app that you're a safe and defensive driver and you'll get the prioritized choice when it comes to passenger pick-up. Should you die in a tragic car crash, we'll be able to record and share that moment with your friends and they'll be the first to be alerted.
Of course, you have been wondering why we didn't mention autopilot. We have an even better news than just making machines drive the car. Soon enough you will be able to make poor people who would otherwise sit at home bored and browse Facebook to drive your car for free for you. All we have to do is to supply them a free Occolus Rift and stream your car's view to their VR glasses. Now you can actually blame someone when the shit hits the fan.
Last but not least, one of the features we have thought a lot about was how the revolutionary Blockchain technology can be utilized for a connected world. With that, we are happy to announce the ICO (Initial Coin Offering) of our cryptocurrency, Karbook Krypto Koin (coin ticker: K3) next month. K3 will provide non-mutable driving records on the blockchain based on IoT and the latest crypto standards to ensure your safety when it comes to you on the road.
We leverage the userbase of Carbook and Facebook installs in the world to have a location history of you on the blockchain. With Bluetooth Low-Energy, your car will automatically record all of its encounters with timestamps and locations with different cars and phones that it sees on the road. So Carbook can calculate and prove to the police officer of your speed record should a dispute happen about you going over the speed limit. When such records are pulled from the blockchain, you're automatically charged an amount equivalent of 50% of the citation's worth (Hey, you still save 50% on the citation fees). 5% of that amount will be rewarded to miners who also install Carbook in their cars and were witnesses of your records. 95% will go to the K3's founders as the industry-standard cut. Likewise, you will be automatically billed on the blockchain for any of your traffic violation and toll road fees. One convenient feature of Carbook is it mines your K3 on the road on the Raspberry Pi, so you actually make money while you drive. In cold winter days, this will generate enough heat so if your heater in the car breaks down, you can use the Raspberry Pi as a heater instead.
But that's not all you can get from K3. What if you're alleged to be involved in a high-profile murder case and you want an alibi? Worry not, the K3's blockchain will be able to backtrace and show your record that your life actually is more boring than the cops think. Jokes on them, you were at home watching Youtube! The alibi's record will be charged at 50% of your lawyer's rate.
Please look out for the whitepaper we'll release in the next week for our ICO. We'll be filthy rich and you will too, but that's about all of us. If we can't make money out of your trust, we don't deserve it.
- Huan Truong, Carbook and K3's Product Manager.
Edit: For people who are confused by this post, please note the date of publication.